Susan Spess Shay

Still playing make believe.


Urgent Fun!

Lifesavers - Five Flavor - 1950's Wrapper

Show of hands. How many people have a great time at an Urgent Care? I visited one last night where I had a ball!

Here’s the deal. Last week, New Hip decided to develop an invisible nail to stab me with occasionally. Not often–just once or twice a day. And the sharp pain didn’t last long–not more than five minutes, tops.

But when it hurt, it HURT.  One of those, ‘I can’t walk, don’t ask me’ times. You know? (If you don’t, don’t worry about it. You aren’t missing anything.)

After a week or so of these hip attacks, I started remembering a man from C-Town who’d popped his replaced hip out of joint 16 or 18 times. That and all the Hip-Replacement-Class-Action-Lawsuit commercials these days made me think I should give my sweet doctor a call.

Yes, he’s nice, and might be called eye candy by some people, but that had nothing to do with my call. 😉 I didn’t even get to talk to him. His assistant returned my call (sigh) and told me to go to their Urgent Care Center.

I always think of UC like an emergency room, so I figured I’d be there for a few hours. When we walked in, there were only two blue-haired women waiting. That encouraged me, until the larger of the pair focused hard on me and muttered a dour, “Good luck.”

I have to tell you, though, that was the worst part of the evening.

Everyone else had a delightful sense of humor. (Yay!) The x-ray dude x-plained why the metal brads on my britches (yoga pants, maybe?) showed up like a pair of glowing Wintergreen Lifesavers on the films and the PA’s assistant swore to go to her grave without revealing my weight. The PA I saw was absolutely delightful.

Since my x-rays were perfect (except for the Lifesavers) PA thought it might be something else.

Well, my knee on the other leg . . .  I whined. (Don’t  you hate whiners?) And . . .

She did everything but start singing–


“The knee bone’s connected to the thigh bone, the thigh bone’s connected to the hip bone, the hip bone’s connected to the back bone, now hear the word of the Lord. “

So sweet PA figured it out (I hope!) and ‘splained it to me so even I could understand without sounding like she was talking to a two-year-old. (I didn’t have to ask her to speak plain English once!)

Then we started talking books. One of my favorite subjects! And since I just happened to have a couple of my business cards in my purse that my sweet friend Ashley made for me, which just happen to have my book covers on them, I just happened to share one with her.

And I shared with x-ray dude. And the PA’s assistant. And the receptionist, who mentioned they have another woman who works there who loves to read, and could I leave one for her, too? 😛

Naturally, I invited them all to go eat at Ted’s with G-Man and me.

They didn’t. (They weren’t off work yet.)

Back to the show of hands. How many people besides me have fun when they go to an emergency room? Surely I’m not the only one.