You’ve reached the home of Susan, G-Man, Molly and Kenny, the attack bird.
That’s what my answering machine should probably say. (It really doesn’t.) Or maybe it should be stronger–
You’ve reached the Shays. Warning–we have the world’s meanest bird.
Do they have warning signs for birds, like they do for dogs?
Attack bird on duty. Enter at your own risk!
This is Kenny. He LOOKS like a mild-mannered, unassuming cockatiel, doesn’t he? Don’t be fooled. He’s not!
He’s mean. If you get too close, he’ll raise his wings and hiss at you. Then he’ll squawk and rush at you,
teeth beak bared and ready to bite off a chunk.
We didn’t make him mean. He came to us, by way of our son who was doing some work on a woman’s computer. She said Danny could have the bird, but having too many critters in his house already, #1 passed him on to his dad.
His name was Penny when we got him. Penny? PENNY?
Anyone can tell he’s a male. He’s cheeks are bright and beautiful, much too pretty to be a girl bird. And I understand female birds lay eggs, whether there’s a male bird around or not. So G-Man changed his name to Kenny, after Kenny on South Park. Why?
- Kenny McCormick (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
You never saw SP Kenny’s entire face, he mumbled so you couldn’t understand him and he died every week. We figured that was perfect for this bird.
The original owner had kids who’d poked at and teased the poor bird until he had to learn to protect himself.
While I don’t call Kenny a pet (you really should be able to pat your pet, right?) we’ve been good to him. We give him delicious food, treats and we even found a way to keep his water clean. (At first, he thought the water bowl was a toilet bowl. We went through several watering systems before we found one he couldn’t foul.)
We buy him toys, and if there’s any way, he’ll eat them. Once we got him a swingset, and he chewed on the pieces until it fell apart and collapsed to the floor of his cage. He’s eaten through several perches.
And one time when Molly got hold of him, we pulled him from the jaws of death and rushed him, wet and sagging, back into his cage where he shivered for a day or two. Before long, though, he got his spirit back.
He’s smart, though. Even with the ceiling fan on, he’s never flown into it and never gone out the door, when I’ve left it open.
And he has a few good points.
He’s a great alarm. When G-man leaves the bedroom to come down for breakfast, Kenny starts squawking. (I imagine he’s yelling, “Pop! Pop!” in bird talk.)
And he’s a great whistler. He barks, meows and has a does a wolf whistle. 🙂 Danny can get him to show off any time he wants, and I figure that’s because he’s the rescuer. G-Man and I are just his caretakers.
Well, G-Man is.
I don’t like having that sharp beak snapping at me.