Susan Spess Shay

Still playing make believe.

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Tire Jewelry Anyone?

Did your mama ever tell you, “You’re gonna drive those wheels right off your car”? Well, guess what. I did. :)Not literally, but I tried. I drove one of my tires until it was almost bald.

I hadn’t noticed, and one day MS said, “Mom, you need a new tire.”

I thought,What’s he doing, examining my tires?  but answered like the sweet mama I am, “Oookay, thanks.” I really wasn’t thrilled about needing a tire. I mean, honestly. Who notices tires? So why spend all that money on something no one sees?

That is, until G-Man said, “We’re going to have to get a new tire before we can go to T-Town again.” Ack!!!

(Big sigh.) Tires all look alike–unless they’re flat or have a big hole in them or cables sticking out. Right? And they’re only available in black. I remember seeing black and white ones when I was a kid, but these days it’s B. O. (Black only.)

They don’t come in colors that coordinate with your car. No pictures. Nothing with bling. No sparkle, no shine.

You can’t even get tire jewelry to dress them up, except for yucky chains in winter, and you can only use them when there’s snow and/or ice on the ground.

There’s only plain, ugly, round tires that smell funky. (Anybody stepping in that with me?)

Wow. Imagine how far the shoe industry would have come if the only color shoes came in was black and the big difference was the name on the side–and how big a bank loan you had to have to get them.

Not only is it a pain in the bank book to buy plain, black tires, it takes for-ev-ver! for-ev-ver! for-ev-ver! (Name that movie.) to get them mounted and put back on the car. Oh, yeah, I know they put them up on the rack (snort) and take the wheels off, then swap out the tires, but hello? I’ve had babies in less time than it takes to do that.

After I paid yesterday, my car didn’t come back for a long time. I finally told the woman I gave my check to that if the tire guy had stolen my car and run off to Mexico with the woman from the Gas ‘n’ Go nearby, I might just stop payment on that check–if it didn’t bounce first.

If anyone decides to try out my idea of tire jewelry (I’m thinking a single row of rhinestones to start and we can build from there) let me know. I’d love to sparkle while I roll.