Susan Spess Shay

Still playing make believe.


White Haired Wisdom from Frank Peretti

Front cover of Piercing the Darkness

Front cover of Piercing the Darkness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

This blog is by Frank Peretti. Remember, “This Present Darkness” and “Piercing the Darkness?” Yep, it’s THAT Frank Peretti. Don’t be impressed. I don’t know the guy. I just “liked” him on Facebook.

Turns out he isn’t just a great writer, he’s smart, too. So I’m sharing some of his White Haired Wisdom.
If you want to keep up with Frank, you can like him on Facebook. 
White-Haired Wisdom: Our WHW for today is for all those young and not as young ladies out there who are looking toward marriage.  Moms and Dads, you might want to pass this on to your daughters.
When you’re looking for the right guy, make up your mind here and now that you’re going to Go Through The Middle: you’re going to prove and test him, however long it takes, to make sure he’s God’s pick for you.
Too many people fall into a relationship quickly and easily, “in love” but not thinking.  Let me share with you. Quick and Easy do not make SAFE.
Slow and Careful make SAFE.
So to be specific: dear lady, do yourself, your family, your friends, and your pastor a big favor: Don’t Marry a Jerk.
When I consider the rivers of marital counseling cases that flow through any church, it pains me that the bulk of the counseling is because the guy is a jerk, which tells us something we must face up to and fear: There are jerks in this world, even Christian, church-going jerks.
They are out there, and they are looking for you. Sometimes I marvel at the guys that girls marry.  It’s as if the girl took applications and interviewed several men in order to choose the worst possible candidate:
“Oh, no, I’m sorry, you don’t qualify.  You’re a man with deep convictions with a job; you have a car that actually runs; you believe in self-sacrifice and looking out for your wife and kids.
“I’m looking for a man who can’t hold a job so we end up living with my folks and driving dad’s car because ours is always broken down or out of gas.
“I want a man who is always around when he wants sex but has no interest in taking care of me or the kids. “I’m looking for someone who has a drug or alcohol problem because I think I can fix him. “I need somebody who’s really moody and pouts and yells a lot because I like getting emotionally beat up.
“I’m looking for someone who blames all his problems on everybody else so I’ll have to take the rap for everything. “I want a man who keeps score in a relationship –
Well, I did this and this and this for you, but you only did this and this for me – so I’m always, always trying to make him happy.
“I want a man who can’t control his appetites, who doesn’t want to wait until marriage for sex because he just can’t help himself, which means he won’t wait for anything else he wants, which means we’ll always be in financial trouble.” Jerks are little boys who shave.
The most important thing to them is the latest computer game, everybody else is wrong and they are right, they are constantly texting on a cell phone their mother is paying for, and they drive without insurance.
Jerks need to control and abuse to feel manly, and Christian jerks use the Bible, erroneously, to make it spiritual.  And are you ready for the biggest lie a woman can fall for?
Here it comes–
“He’ll change.”
Listen, I know God’s grace can run mighty deep and of course there are testimonies, but more often than not – which means you should count on it – whatever he is now, that’s what he’s going to be twenty, thirty years from now. 
While you’re still free to make a good and safe choice – not just for you but for your kids-to-be – don’t even think about there being exceptions to the rule.
So it’s my prayer that these words will provide some advance warning and protection for you.  I’ve already heard back from some precious women who can verify everything I’m saying, and they will tell you as I will, Go Through the Middle to find a Real Man, which means you’ll probably have to wade through a few jerks before you find him, but just as there are jerks in the world, so there are good, solid, Real Men, and holding out for the right one will be more than worth it; it will define the rest of your life.
Now I’m thinking about what to say to the fellas who want to be Real Men.  I’ll be back shortly. Frank, on June 13, 2012.