Vampires are Real! (You thought I was going to say US, didn’t you?)
*Cue spooky mood music.*
Have you been told there’s no such as vampires, my friends? Then you’ve been lied to.
Insert evil *bwa-ha-ha-ha* here.
They do exist. Oh, but not the vampires of TV and movies, my children.
The real vampires are much sneakier than that. These monsters creep up when you’re hard at work. They tiptoe their eight little legs along your body until they find a nice, tight spot where they wedge in.
Don’t think they’ll just dip a pair of fangs for an occasional sip now and then like our friend, Bela did. No, these devils bury their entire heads and drink for all they’re worth.
And a wooden stake won’t kill them. No. There are only two ways to be sure these little vamps are dead–flush them or soak them in gasoline and burn them.
Today, I’m ticked.
At least, I was yesterday.