TAX DAY!!!

Tax (Photo credit: 401K)

It’s National Tax Day! Are you ready for it?

Do you have your black suit all clean and pressed? (Black head to toe, if you please!) Your hat with the black veil? Your sad music READY to play all day long?

We only have this day once a year. Make the most of it!

Just kidding. It’s not really that bad.

G-Man and I don’t do our own taxes. Here in our Small Town World, one of my cousins married an accountant and we worship the ground she walks on! (I tell Cousin Rick if anything were ever to happen to their marriage, I get custody of her!)

Miss Barbara is one of those people who stays up on all the tax laws and never makes a mistake. At least, I haven’t heard of any of her clients going to jail. (Yet.)

She’s so good at the tax thing, she gives seminars for preachers. Apparently, the clergy has a special set of rules about what they can and can’t deduct, and she stays up on all of it. She’d be in trouble with God if she messed that up, so you know she does an excellent job.

My dad used to have a Tax Day tradition I love hearing about. Every year on the Big Day, he’d work on the company’s taxes (and his own) and get them finished just before the deadline. Then he’d rush to T-Town, just under the speed limit because he didn’t have time worked into the tradition for a chat with the law. Once there, he’d get in line with the others who honor that tradition at the downtown post office to mail them off just before midnight.

I believe they call it The Tax Day Parade.

Small Town Worlds don’t have post offices that stay open until midnight, but Big Cities do. I wonder how many people usually participate in it these days? Do they decorate their cars? Play music? Throw candy? Have dancing clowns and floats?

I hope to be there for it someday. Just to watch, of course. I don’t want to be part of those festivities. 🙂

I have a few suggestions for the IRS.

THINGS THAT SHOULD BE TAX DEDUCTIBLE

• Makeup, facelifts, beauty treatments.

Making these tax deductible would probably balance the budget deficit. Go with me on this. Women feel better when they look pretty. (And if it was tax deductible, it would be easier for us to go for more.) When we feel better, we’re nicer, which makes us easier to be around, so we’d work more and the men would enjoy working more. Am I right or am I  right???

• Diets. See above.
• Exercise machines–such as treadmills, ellipticals and weights. Above again.
•  Vacations with girlfriends.

While vacas with our men are wonderful, time with just the girls reminds us what it was like to be lighthearted and without responsibility. That would carry over into our everyday lives and the lives of our men. Everyone would be happier and work more.

• Dinner out. (Just because.)
• The latest computers/phones/iPads/whatever.  (Just because.)

Oh, I forgot to mention. Postage to mail your taxes on Tax Day should be free. After all, we’re mailing money to our government, using the government system to do it. So we pay them to deliver the money we’re giving them?

What’s up with that?

In case the IRS wants help writing tax code (whatever that means) I’m available. At least what I’d write would be easy to understand. Well, easier anyway.

So do you have any suggestions for our Tax People? If so, leave them here. I’ll be glad to pass them on. 🙂